“The cinema and TV are America's reality.” - Jean Baudrillard. I see empty streets and beaches, lonely people on the side of the road, flowers have fallen to the ground mingling with empty bullets, masses of people swallowing the individual and nothing but money, money, money. Growing up as teenager in the 90's, my encounters with the United States were subtle but constant. A hamburger at McDonalds. A Jersey of my favorite Basketball team. My first cigarette or my first action movie. I grew up with not only the German culture but also the ideals of the U.S. being implemented in my everyday life. From a far, through the words of authors, lenses of cinematographers and sounds of musicians this country has always promised a better and brighter life. The general view on this country has changed drastically in the last decade. The American politics, both internal and across the globe, have led to cracks in the shiny facade that by today are deep craters in the perception of America. The second Gulf War, Columbine, the housing and financial crisis, racial tensions, police brutality and last but not least the 45th President Donald Trump. For many, America has long been like a big brother who's heroic stories surpassed his absence after moving out of the house. They have tried to live like him in the last decades, following the ideals and values of this role model. Populism and social tensions have divided the American society and are spreading to other western countries. Therefore the fear arouses that America's problems of today will be our problems of tomorrow. While I travelled 25.000 miles I have visited 27 States. I have followed roads without an ending and narratives I might never understand. Traveling through the United States meant traveling through my own memory and through a constant déjà- vu. My whole life I have seen this place from a far and now that I'm here I don't know anymore what is real and what is not.